He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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