I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
