I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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