a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
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dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
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If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize