I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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