he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
