Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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