WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
