Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
