oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i think im in europe. pls send help
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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