You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
