Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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