Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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