Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
vagina is talking i cant
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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