Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
