Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
