I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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