The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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