I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Someone signed my nipple.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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