I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize