She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
