Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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