meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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