jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
