It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Be still, my beating vagina.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
