I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
