We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
