In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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