I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
