I hate your face
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
