I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
