i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
