She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize