My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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