No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
