I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
