I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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