Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
