you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
