yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
