she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
