mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I have fence marks all over my body
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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