My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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