You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
