I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
