did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I need to calm my uterus...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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