If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The beer is more important than you right now.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
