Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize