I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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