Only a mothe r could love this liver
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize
