So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
