I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
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I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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