I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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