ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Found your dick twin last night
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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