it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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