I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize