I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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