I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize