Princesses don't give blow jobs
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
